Selling horses in today’s market should come with hazard pay.
You take photos from every angle, polish the horse, clip the whiskers, brush the tail, and pray it doesn’t roll right before you hit record. You upload clear videos walk, trot, canter, stop, back, maybe a trail clip for the overachievers. You list the height, age, training, soundness, price, coggins, location, personality, and every detail short of the horse’s astrological sign.
And then the messages start.
“Still available?”
“Would you take less?”
“Would you trade for a mini and a saddle with a cracked tree?” Or my personal favorite: “Is he kid safe?” followed by a photo of a toddler in a tutu holding a lead rope.
You say “no tire kickers,” but they come in full force
People who want ten videos, a ppe, a 3 hour phone call, and then ghost you faster than your last situationship. People who show up to “try” your horse, ride him like a potato, and then blame the horse for not “connecting spiritually.”
You say “no holds without a deposit,” and suddenly they “just need to talk to their husband.”
He’s been in the picture five minutes but apparently holds full financial authority over this horse that she’s been “dreaming about forever.”
You get the ones who tell you your price is crazy
Right before they list a barely halter broke 3 year old for double the amount because it “could go English or western.” You get the ones who pick apart your horse’s conformation, tack fit, your arena footing, and your video quality, then finish with “he’s perfect just not what I’m looking for.”
You spend days answering questions, rearranging your schedule for meetups, trying to be polite when what you really want to say is: “Please stop wasting my time if you can’t afford hay, much less a horse.”
The truth is, selling a horse today isn’t just a transaction it’s a test of endurance, patience, and public relations. You’re not just a seller you’re a therapist, a cameraman, a secretary, a psychic, and a hostage negotiator.
The good buyers still exist they’re just buried under the ones who think “firm” means “negotiable” and “broke” means “won’t kill me.” And when that one right person finally shows up the one who gets it, who loves the horse for what it is and not what they want it to be it almost feels like a miracle.
Until then, we keep listing, replying, and holding back sarcasm that deserves an Olympic medal. Because this is the modern horse market and the only thing more expensive than a good horse is the patience it takes to sell one.